What We Have
by Techie-Chan
Summary: Specs is killed in a car crash. How will the others take it? And how will Dutchy survive without his soulmate? Read and find out. Slash Sputchy. Hopefully it's better than the summary makes it sound!
1. Prolouge

Disclaimer: Nope. Don't own a bit. I wish i owned Dutchy though. :)

Author's Note: Okay. This part of the fic actually happened...kinda. At my school something similar to this happened a while ago. Other than that, this fic is a product of my twisted imagination 3

Dutchy walked into the class, wondering where Specs was. He hadn't been online last night and hadn't called. The morning announcements cut into his thoughts, the annoying grating of the principals voice laden with grief. "Hello students. This is your principal Mr. Merral. It is with a heavy heart that I bear some very bad news. Last night at approximately 5:30 PM, two cars containing three Madison students were driving down Vale road headed towards Hunter Mill, when one of the cars lost control and was driven off the road into a tree." Dutchy remembered that, he had heard the crash when he was driving home from work that day.

"The driver of the car, Zaccariah 'Specs' Davidson, was killed on impact, and the passenger, Collin Conlon, was rushed to the hospital and is currently being treated for life threatening injuries-" Dutchy stopped listening then. He wasn't capable of hearing anymore. His two best friends were in the hospital. 'Except that Specs isn't in the hospital. NO. It's not true. It can't be true.' he thought, shaking his head to clear his thoughts. He didn't want to believe that his boyfriend of five years wasn't going to come up to him at lunch, smile, and give him a hug, saying that it was all just a big misundertsanding. Numbly, he walked out of the classroom, past Mr. Peterson, who didn't even try to stop him. Everyone knew that Dutchy and Specs had been dating, and everyone knew just how close to breaking down Dutchy was just by looking at him.

As he walked down the halls, he absently noted Spot walking behind him, his head in the crook of Race's neck, who was currently trying to comfort him. When he reached the office, he wasn't that surprised to note that their were numerous students from both the Drama department and the football team there, trying to comfort one another at the loss of Specs, and Collin's injuries. As he walked past, followed by Spot and Race, everyone stepped aside to let them through, almost like he was Moses and they were the sea, the sympathy welling up like waves inside their eyes. He opened the door to see all of his friends sitting there. Skittery and Snitch, Blink, Mush, Bumlets, Pie Eater, Swifty, Snoddy, and even Myya, Spot's younger sister. They all looked up as he entered, the room's quiet comforting turning to complete silence at their arrival. Myya ran to Spot, throwing her arms around him and breaking the silence with her sobs. Skittery, who Dutchy would later find out was the driver of the other car, came up and put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Dutchy...I'm...look...I'm so sorry...I really am." he finished, turning his head to hide the tears. This, along with everything else that had happened to shatter his life, was too much, and for the first time since he was five years old, Dutchy broke down and sobbed his heart out in the arms of his friends.

Panda

REVIEW 0.0 Now. Or I'll send my benevolent hedgehogs to chew on your cornflakes. And they'll eat you too o.o


	2. Of Clocks and Coffins

Disclaimer:I don't own Newsies, i do own Myya and Collin, but everything else, sadly, belongs to disney. Or else there would be some serious Sputchy snoggage in Newsies.  
  
Warning: This is slash. Don't like? Too bad. Go away, cause I don't like you. -mutters something about 'stupid homophobes' giggles insanley-  
  
A/N:Sorry for any grammer or spelling mistakes, but i don't have a beta, so they're bound to be there somewhere.Oh, and to anyone who sees the theme that I'm trying for at the end of every chapter, -throws cookies in the air COOKIES!-  
Oh, and FYI, Dutch and Specsy got together when they were 12 and they're 17 now.  
Mya:you messed up their names.  
Myya:NO I DIDN'T! They're Dutch and Specsy, the people whjo wrote the script got it wrong!  
Mya:riiiight...Anyway  
  
Shout-Outs:  
Nakaia Aidan-Sun: YAY! glad you liked it!  
Buttons14:See! I updated fast! Just like you asked! HEY IT RHYMED!! YAY!  
Ashley( ):Thank you! Yay! -claps hands-  
Fantasy3:Thanks for the suggestions. i was actually planning to have that stuff, and the funeral is in this chappie!...Kinda. Mute():thanks for reviewing! Whoot!!

* * *

Dutchy glanced aimlessly at the clock on the wall, the same clock that Specs had given him for his 13th birthday. He had made it himself at a workshop downtown, and put a picture of him and Dutchy on their first date as the background for the clock. He realized somewhere in the back of his mind that he should've been in school for two hours already, but he didn't really care anymore. Not now that Specs wasn't there to urge him to get good grades so they could go to the same college. 'I probably won't even live 'til college now, not without Specs…' He felt the tears well up in his eyes as he thought of the beautiful brunette. 

His eyes caught the calender, and he realized that not only was today the day of the funeral, it was the day that he and Specs would've celebrated their official five year anniversary. It would be the first time that he had been outside since the other boy's death. "Specs….you just can't be dead….I need you too much…I miss you…" he muttered, turning over and crying into his already soggy pillow.  
  
Five hours later, Dutchy awoke from his fitful dreams to find someone, probably Skittery, banging on his front door. the senior had taken a special interest in Dutchy's health ever since the accident, probably because he felt it was his fault, being the older driver.

He dragged himself out of bed, not bothering to change or brush his hair. "Dutchy!" Skittery yelled, banging louder on the door. When Dutchy finally opened it, Skittery stared in shock at the state that Dutchy was in. He was wearing the same Khaki pants and black vest over a dark yellow shirt that he had been wearing Friday. He also looked like he had lost some weight. "Dutch…? Have you even eaten since Friday?"

At Dutchy's silence, he grabbed the blondes wrist and dragged him towards the kitchen, grabbing a bowl and practically forcefeeding him cereal. "Dutchy, come on! What do you think Specs would say if he saw you like this?" Skittery asked the younger boy, trying to snap him out of his mood.

"That's just it, though, Skitts. He didn't have to say anything. He would only have to look at me and I'd know he was worried about me. He'd walk over, hug me, and nuzzle my cheek, and that would be enough." he answered, seeing Specs in his minds eye, standing at the kitchen door.

--Flashback--

Specs walked into the kitchen, shirt slung over his shoulder, whistling 'All That Jazz.' He stopped when he heard a sob come from the direction of the kitchen. There he saw Dutchy, sitting at the kitchen table, a letter in his hand, head buried trying to hide his sorrow. Specs walked over quietly, not wanting to disturb him, feeling his heart contract painfully when a fresh batch of sobs erupted from his love.

Gently, he climbed behind Dutchy and put an arm around him, pulling him closer and using his other arm to stroke the blonde's soft skin. "What's wrong, love?" he whispered, gently nuzzling the other boy, causing their glasses to clink softly. Dutchy turned slightly, curling up in Specs' lap and sobbing into his boyfriend's chest.

--End Flashback--

Dutchy smiled softly at the memory. He never had told Specs what he had been crying about. He'd have to tell Specs when he got home from work. With that thought, his smile vanished completly, because he realized Specs wasn't going to be coming home.

"Dutchy? Dutch..? Hey. Hullo? Earth to Dutchy!" Skittery said, waving his hand in front of dutchy's face. "You gonna stand there and miss your boyfriends funeral? Come on or we'll be late!" Grabbing Dutchy's arm, Skittery pulled him out of the house and into his convertable before speeding to the funeral home.

When they arrived, Dutchy got out, walking towards the srea they were told held Specs' body. as he walked towards the coffin, he felt someone's presence behind him. Thinking it was Skittery, he turned around to ask him if he could have some time alone. Instead of Skittery however, he saw Specs, dressed in the same clothes he had worn thursday, black jeans that clung to his legs and a black T-shirt sporting the phrase 'Not Guilty'/1.

He started walking toward dutchy and the blonde had to hold onto the coffin to keep upright. 'The coffin?' he thought, coming back to reality. 'Specs is dead. So how can he be right...'he looked to the coffin and immediatly wished he hadn't.

Even though he had been laid out straight for the service, it was obvious his neck was broken along with many other bones on his right side. He looked so pale...so....still. This couldn't be Specs. "It's horrible, isn't it?" Specs asked, walking up behind Dutchy and putting his arms around the other boy's waist. Dutchy nodded, unable to form words. Specs couldn't be dead, this was all just a bad dream. it had to be, he would wake up and Specs would be lying next to him, sleeping peacefully. "It's real, Dutch. I can't come back. I just came to say godbye. But I can still visit you if you promise to never forget anything about what we had."

Dutchy looked back when he heard a door open, and suddenly, Specs wasn't behind him anymore. Specs wasn't anywhere. he turned around to see who had opened the door, and saw all of his friends, dressed compltely in black.

He turned away so that they wouldn't see his tears, but he ended up looking down at the coffin again. Somehow, this time it was worse, beacuse he knew that this time specs wouldn't come up behind him and say something. He couldn't, because he was dead.

* * *

/1 Cookies to anyone who knows what that's from, bug eyes to anyone who hasn't seen it, you're just as uninformed as i was two weeks ago. 

A/N: Well, that's it! Please tell me what you think of the official first chapter! next chappie things get complicated! and funful!


	3. A Visit Overdue

Disclaimer: not mine. Dutchy isn't mine, Specs isn't mine. nothing is mine except for Collin and the idea in this story.  
  
AN: sorry for the wait, but I have had noooo time on the compy for sooo long. I've had to write a five page report on each debate, keep up with my other subjects, do gymnastics, horse-back riding, AND musical theater, so I don't have much time right now. it should get better though. and now, shoutouts!  
  
Erin Go Bragh -thanks for reviewing both chapters! Skittery's role in the crash was that he and Specs were racing down a road and he was the other driver. Collin was in the car that Specs was in. Hope you like this chapter as much as the others!  
  
Fantasy3-Don't worry, Dutchy wasn't seeing things. Specs is a real live ghost. ...except...he isn't alive. but anyway, glad you liked it!  
  
Nakaia Aidan-Sun - it's from CHICAGO!! huggles Chicago dvd There are some more references in this chapter, so if you haven't seen it, I recommend you do.  
  
T-R-Us -hops up and down THANKS! there's more Sprace fluffles in the next chapter or so, and I'm glad you liked it!  
  
Buttons14- Okay, so maybe I didn't update as soon as I had hoped, but it's still pretty fast, especially for me! yeah, they were young, but I've read fics where they were in...third grade I think is the youngest, so 6th isn't that bad. hope you like this chappie too!  
  
Aura( )- Last but not least! yuppers! it's from Chicago! gives cookies fresh baked form the kitchen! Dutchy: you might not want to eat them then...it means Specs made them. Specs: HEY! My cooking isn't that bad!...is it? Myya: Specs, we love you dear, but you can't even make a good bowl of cereal.  
  
Well, on to the next chapter now!

* * *

That night as Dutchy lay in bed trying to sleep, he kept seeing images, flashbacks, his memory torturing him to no end. He was afraid to sleep now, because every time he did, he saw the same thing. He and Specs were in the car, with Specs driving. They were speeding out of control, and Dutchy was pleading with Specs to slow down on the curving road; Specs wasn't listening though, all he said to acknowledge Dutchy's presence was a reassuring word every now and then. Then from out of nowhere, a tree popped up; too close for specs to be able to swerve at the speed they were going. The car slammed into it, mangling and killing Specs right in front of Dutchy. Instead now, he opted to do make up work for school, or write, one of his favorite hobbies, just to keep himself away from the nightmares. He hadn't old anyone about his dreams, mainly because he was afraid they would try and trick him into sleeping, then he would have to see Specs die again.  
  
Thinking about the crash made him think of Collin too, who they had heard was doing better, but still had to stay at the hospital another week or so. They had found a lot of internal bleeding and broken bones that only time could heal. Dutchy knew that he should visit him, but he couldn't drag himself out of the hole of self-pity he was digging long enough to even be able to drive safely the few miles to the hospital. He pulled himself towards the phone and dialed Skittery's number.  
  
"Hey."  
  
"Hiya Skitts."  
  
"Dutch? What's up?"  
  
"Can you drive me to the hospital?" Dutchy immediately knew those were the wrong words to say as soon as they left his mouth.  
  
"What? Why?!"  
  
Dutchy sighed, "So that I can visit Collin."  
  
"Oh...sure...be over in a few."  
  
"Bye."  
  
"Bye."  
  
Dutchy put down the phone and stood up to go change. He grabbed the first thing that he could find, which happened to be his black T-shirt that stated the phrase 'I'm out of bed and dressed. What more do you want?' and threw it on. He snatched a pair of relatively wrinkle free jeans from the floor, jammed his legs into them and looked at his reflection in the mirror. 'Well, it's an improvement.' he thought, grabbing his cabbie hat and putting it over his messy hair.  
  
He heard a car horn honk outside his apartment and he went down the stairs to find Skittery waiting in his convertible. His pink convertible. as he got into the car, he thought he heard Skittery mumble 'Well at least he's out of the house willingly.'  
  
When they arrived at the hospital, Skittery dropped Dutchy off at the front doors, told him Collin was in room 423, and then went to find a parking space. Dutchy walked into the lobby and asked the receptionist where room 423 was, as Skittery had neglected to tell him the layout of the huge medical building.  
  
As he rode up the elevator, he found himself growing a bit nervous. Collin had told him the year before that he had a crush on him, but he wasn't sure if said crush still existed.  
  
He opened the door slowly, dreading the condition he might find Collin in. To his surprise, Collin was awake, writing in a purple notebook. "Collin...?" Said boy's head snapped up and he quickly closed the notebook so that Dutchy wasn't able to see anything that its pages contained.  
  
"...Dutchy. Hey."  
  
"Sorry I surprised you..." Collin shook his head, indicating he didn't mind.  
  
"S'okay. It gets pretty boring in here anyway."  
  
"What were you writing?" No, Dutchy was not the king of tact. More like 'peasant of such low standards they aren't even mentionable.' Collin shifted so that the notebook wasn't visible, shifting his gaze away from Dutchy.  
  
"Nothing very interesting..." Dutchy admitted he didn't really care what the details were, but he did want to know if it was about him of not.  
  
"Is it about me?"  
  
"No." Collin responded quickly; a little too quickly in Dutchy's opinion. "Maybe...yes..."  
  
"Oh. So how're you feeling?" he asked, changing the subject to a more comfortable one.  
  
"Pretty good...I mean, my whole body hurts like shit and I keep getting told I might die at any time, but everyone's visiting me and bringing me food!" he said grinning, trying to lighten the mood.  
Dutchy walked over and hugged the brunette, careful not to hurt him. When he pulled away, he saw tears in Collin's eyes.  
  
"Collin? What's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing. Nothing...I just...I mean ever since I first saw you, I've wished that somehow I could be with you. I knew that you and Specs were meant to be together though, so I never interfered," he confessed, turning his body so that Dutchy couldn't see his face.  
  
The moment was broken as the door to the room opened, revealing Skittery. "Did I interrupt something?"  
  
"Not really. Are you two gonna leave now?" Collin asked, looking to Dutchy.  
  
"Yeah...I guess we are going to go...I'll be back soon, okay?" Dutchy promised, giving Collin a small smile and scratching his head lightly, making the other boy purr. As he walked out the door, he noticed that he felt much happier than he had since Specs' death. When he got home, he flopped on his bed and slept for the first time in days.

* * *

AN: well, this is a really short chappie, but I have the next two chapters written, so they should be up really soon, unless school decides to cut in. Again.  
  
Myya Conlon, the infamous sister of the infamous twins, Collin and Spot, who can both make a mean smore. 


End file.
